Sunday, February 14, 2010

Day 45: Falling off and Getting on

Tomorrow, I will be transitioning back to vegan (nearly), gluten-free, super health mode style and pursuing a healthy body, focused mind and peaceful soul. The tower of terror emotional drop I had this past week was enough to push me into a mega-coping pattern that would rival NFL plays (though I'm not sure such a reference is good, since I know all of zero patterns in football). But really, I hit the crazy emotional "anything will make me cry" phase, and I'm not too much of a crier...screamer? sure. rageful? when confronted with douche monkeys...yes. I'm a fan of emotions, and like that I can express a range. However, nervous breakdowns in the "my full life is now onion shaped and yoga is a massive, hairy, orangutan hand peeling each painful, repressed feeling with powerful tears" style prompted some serious coping...in the form of espresso, sugar, cheese, jon stewart, laziness and any other emotional pitfall of doom (minus jon stewart, cause the daily show is just funny).

Hello healthy, I'll be coming your way soon. Sorry for the detour. I guess crying in public wasn't my scene, so instead, I opted for false-happiness and borrowed energy. Next time I feel like crying, I'll dress in all black, put on some of my old emo music from high school and look forlornly off into the weird space between people. Hello sad little teenage me...looks like I need to see what hurt back then. Strap up...or down. Just pull out the straps and hold on. *deep breath*

Class: Hot 90
Instructor: Jana
Studio: Open Door
Wins: lavender towels, lavender towels and cold, magical, unicorn-hair-750-thread-count-dipped-in-relaxation-and-all-that-is-good lavender towels.

2 comments:

  1. Oh, I sure relate with coping mechanisms that sneak up on you and before you know it you are in the middle of them!
    I laughed outloud at your Orangutan - heehee!

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  2. Oh sweet soulful angst. I think you are brave to pursue such a healthy lifestyle! We all know we need to do it, but it's so difficult and so easy to just fall back on our crutches of caffeine, cheese, whatever...

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