Days 68 thru 75: Feeling tired, pushing forward and letting go

Many classes, and many new experiences. Hot 90's, the 2 hour advanced class, Ashtanga, Vinyasa and Yin. Two doubles. All very different. All very wonderful. Range of emotions: elated to frustrated. Energy levels? From excess to non-existent. Little posting action as I still haven't made the call to Comcast to set up my internet. It will come, and all will be back on track. A break from my steady access to the interwebs is wonderful. My time isn't lost in hour-long blocks, starring at anything I move to: what is the chemical formula of a common antidepressant? Who makes the best hammock? How do you grow peyote? Wikipedia is my new teacher of all subjects.

There is much to talk about, much to discuss, but I'll save the depth for when I make it up north this weekend. I'll have enough time to really lay out my ideas and recap all that has happened the last week.

Classes: Hot 90, Hot 90 & Advanced, Hot 90, Ashtanga, Hot Silent Flow, Samana (Vinyasa), Yin & Hot 90
Instructors: Jennifer H., Kate C, Roland, Yvonne, Renee, Claudine and Tiffany
Studios: Open Door and Blue Lotus
Wins: Here & Now.

Day 63, 64, 65, Sixty Six...and Sixty Seven: Life Is Busy, So Hold On

Five more days of yoga; five more long evenings; five more days of moving; four more shifts at work; two more classes; one more lab and one more beautiful day. Days sixty three to sixty seven were a blur of work, school and tending to a sick sibling. Long nights running around Raleigh, setting up a new apartment, trucking my belongings around town...finding time to write about my Mala took a back seat (the lack of internet at my new abode also contributed to the hiatus).

I'm not really sure what I am moving into with my yoga practice. My days are varied, just as they should be. I find myself a little happier this week; lauging a little more and worrying a little less. I smile for longer. Though I haven't had nearly enough sleep, and my life was filled with hauling and unpacking, I feel better. My brain is taking all the work my body is doing and noticing the effects. My body is telling it to slow down, don't stress. Take it easy. Breathe. I'm asking myself, "what do I really have to worry about?" It's usually a lot less than you imagine.

This week is all about slowing down. Stopping randomly on a walk to notice something new. Lingering at a place to really absorb my surroundings. Forgetting about a schedule as I really talk to someone...and taking the time to listen.

My resolve is just as strong, but my mission is clearer. It's not about showing everyone how tough I am. This Mala is about me. My yoga. My time. My journey. My Life.

Classes: Hot 90, Hot 90, Hot Silent Flow, Samana, and Hot 90
Instructors: Jana, Claudine, Renee and Suzanne
Studio: Open Door
Wins: A new apartment; a calm outlook; a very nice smile.

Day 61 and 62: Don't Get In The Way Of Yourself

I don't have time. No, not today. Too busy. Work. I'll make it up. Really, it's just too crazy. I have a million things to do...ugh, dammit. All the thoughts that race through my head on a busy day. So many, I barely know how to make enough room to breathe, let alone truck it to class. But I do. And I did. And I will. There have been a few times this challenge where yoga had to take a backseat - school, the flu and some poor timing - and that is to be expected. If it was so easy to finish everything you started, how many more people would be happy and healthy, but utterly bored. It's a Mala, an adventure, some even call it a challenge for a reason. Motivation, continuous motivation. Drive. Get up and go. It's what I look forward to, no matter how much my I-can't-no-not-enough-damn-rush-no-rush-shit-rush-ugh gets in the way. I can do this. Breathe, take a step and go to class. Don't punish yourself for an accidental class "oops, I missed the last one!", but don't quit before you even leave the house. Think of how much you love that feeling post class, that amazing yoga high we all secretly (or openly) crave. That exhilarating rush right after savasana, as we shower off our sweaty bodies and take strong, slow inhales. This is why we do this, day after day. To feel more, to know more, to explore more.

And after that little motivational rant, I want to talk about progression-mainly depth. That last few classes, I have been teetering in and out of the emotional ride from where's-my-razor-blade which included two, yes 2, dos, deux spontaneous tear sessions. As I depart that wonderful, depressing, reach way too deep too fast part of the Mala, I find new depth in my postures. New depth, without sacrificing my alignment. It's true, each day is different...not better or worse (though sometimes those labels come to mind first)  I notice now how strong I can root my lower body to really fall back in that first backbend; my chest inflates first in camel, spreading my ribs; I know the feeling of my ankles pressing together and feet firmly down as I roll my hips up and over in rabbit. Depth, digging deeper and releasing more. I'm getting a grip on it now. All of my other activities are still throwing pot holes at me, but I'm learning how to manage the bumps or gracefully avoid the impact...gracefuly? maybe just effectively...a modicum of grace. But I feel it. The changes are there and growing each day.

Class: Hot 90 & Hot 90
Instructor: Mechelle & Jana
Studio: Open Door
Wins: A new apartment; moving; large balconies; calm spaces; new depth; the most magical lavender towels that Jana never forgets; venting with friends; talking like an adult; talking about adult activities; talking candidly, though remembering the humor.

Day 60: Do Your Yoga

I went to work. Catie rebalanced my energy with such much needed needles (thank you thank you). I went to the old place to pack. My swift steed carried me to Open Door. I did my yoga. And that is all I have right now.  

Class: Hot 90
Instructor: Suzanne
Studio: Open Door
Wins: full, but not too crowded; strong series; almost no H20; learning to relax my tongue from the roof of my mouth...weird; oranges and all citrus fruits; family; new apartments; catharsis.